Is Santa a conservative?

According to this list, he must be. Here are a few of the 13 reasons.

1. Did you ever hear Santa wishing someone a “Happy Holidays?” No, for the man in red, it’s always “Merry Christmas” – no matter who it offends.
2. He lives in the North Pole – a tax haven with a zero percent tax rate – hardly a sign of someone who believes in government and wants to pay his “fair share.”
3. Santa’s whole mission is one of private charity. There are no records of the Santa Claus movement being given even $1 in public assistance. Santa epitomizes charity over welfare.
4. He is the sole employer in the area of huge amounts of unskilled elves. Does anyone really believe they are getting minimum wage? They certainly aren’t getting $15 an hour as the unions demand....
11. The naughty or nice list also shows an objective moral compass. Santa apparently rejects liberal relativism or explaining away bad behavior with pop psychology and ‘culture’ issues.
12. His love of cookies and large stomach shows a blatant disregard for Michelle Obama’s healthy eating program, as it encourages children to believe that eating vast quantities of cookies is perfectly acceptable. If he were a liberal, he’d be asking for broccoli and cranberry juice....